For the past few months we have received a neverending parade of solicitation phone calls at home, and clearly we somehow got on some list because they all want D.Jones to invest in something.  Most of them are pretty rude, so I’ve taken to not answering the home phone at all unless I check the caller ID and see a family member or friend on the other end of the call.  On some days, I don’t even bother looking because I know the folks I actually want to talk to will end up calling my cell.

This morning, for some reason, I picked up without even looking.  My mistake.  “Doug there” some guy asks.  I offer a curt “no”.  He says “When will he be in?”  I am already moving to hang up but mumble a quick “I don’t know”.  Usually they just hang up, but some pretend to know him and say “I’ll catch him on his cell” or some other nonsense.  This guy caught me off guard by replying “Is this a home phone?”  I return my face fully to the receiver and tell him that it is, indeed our home phone.  I still try to end the call, though, plus get off of whatever annoying list we’re now on, so in an irritated voice I say“Yes, it is our home phone and if this is some other investment call, he’s not interested.  We get these calls  ALL. DAY. LONG.”  Then this happens:

Guy:  “I know you do because I got your name off of a list.  You guys have a long-term portfolio, right?  I mean, not to be like…whatever, but I’m the Vice President of this company and you probably have never dealt with a guy in New York before.  I’d like to help you out.  I’m kind of a big deal.”

Me:  “Right.  Okay.  Well, my husband is a trader and handles his own investments.  Oh, and he’s kind of a big deal too.”

Guy:  “Oh.  He’s a trader.  Oh.  Small world.”  Click.

Sweet!  I’ve now got my standard response for the next 28 guys who call here., which will probably happen tomorrow morning before 10 a.m.  I’m hoping it helps us get moved to the ”Do not call the angry, crazy lady who is married to a trader list.”  One can only hope.  In the meantime, feel free to refer to D.Jones as D. “Kind of a Big Deal”  Jones.  He’d love that.