The Countdown

I have a couple of little “countdown to Baby Jones” tickers on my computer.  Not like I need more than one, so I’m not sure why I have a couple, but regardless…today when I logged in I saw the number 73 glaring at me.  73 days!?  73 days feels awfully close to 60 days, and when I see 60 days, I’ll freak.  There is so much to do still!  I started automatically ticking off in my head what absolutely must be done before I head to Fairview Riverside for the big event.  I mean, I haven’t even finished the nursery yet, and then we need to move Cooper’s old baby furniture in there, get her clothes washed and put away and organized, get all the necessary baby “stuff” ready like pacies, blankets, burp cloths, etc., etc., etc.  Oh, and diapers.  See!  I even forgot about diapers! 

Speaking of which, I think I have mentioned before that in the past I thought women who complained of having “pregnancy brain” were full of it.  I mean, c’mon, I thought!   I made it through managing a team, working on various projects and supervising training while still employed at Target Financial when I was pregnant with Cooper and had no problem whatsoever.  This time?  Not so much.  I now understand the pregnancy brain.  Good Lord.  If I could get through a day without forgetting something or messing something up, it would be a literal miracle, so as for that list above?  I’ll probably forget diapers anyway…even if I write it down.

In Cooper news, he decided today that he wanted to stay at school for the “Lunch Bunch” which means I pack his lunch and he gets to stay at school an extra hour and dine with his buddies.  It’ll give me an extra hour to get some stuff done, so I’m okay with that, but he’s definitely growing up quickly.  Tomorrow he completes his first semester at The Little Gym of Edina, and he’ll get to participate in an awards ceremony that Teacher Tracie tells me is ridiculously cute.  Hopefully I remember to charge my camera!  Then on Thursday he’s requested to again stay at school for lunch with his friends and then stay for the group they call “Afternoon Adventures” because they are having a music and dance party and he’s all over it.  That means my baby will be gone from 9 in the a..m. until 3 p.m.  I should be celebrating, I suppose, but instead I think the house will be awfully quiet that day…but I think he’ll have a blast…and probably come home absolutely exhausted!

I’m off to paint some letters for the wall in the nursery before my lunch bunch boy is ready to be picked up and as I get ready to get started, I am reminded of the thoughts that ran through my head the other day when I was working on the baby’s room.  Thoughts about lessons for my daughter.  That’s right.  Lessons I am already planning for her before she even arrives, poor kid.  Things I actually know something about this time.  Not how to make car and truck noises, and what animals can actually fit in your pocket or how many times you can chop a worm in pieces and still have him survive.  Nope…this time it’s about how to be a self-sufficient, independent, proud and self-assured girl.  Some of these things I mastered okay on my own, and some I’m still working on, but regardless of where I am on the path, it allows me the insight to pass on some wisdom to my girl, and I plan to do just that…so sorry ahead of time Baby Jones…you’ve got a long road ahead of you listening to your mom drone on and on about how you need to respect yourself first and foremost, and how you need to be able to do everything on your own because even though it’s wonderful to feel taken care of sometimes, it’s even better when you don’t need to be.  Things like how you should never act less smart than you are…even to impress a boy and how girls can be good at anything they want to be good at, from changing a tire on a car to figuring out mathematical equations.  Yep…you’ll get tired of listening to me, little girl, but someday hopefully you’ll understand why I’m so annoying.  As for me, I can’t wait to get started~

Getting the Stories a Little Confused

This morning I was laying in bed, as usual, when my early rising son decided to run in and ask me to play cars and trucks with him.  This has been the same routine for over a year now, and I try to sound happy-go-lucky as he jumps around my bed in the wee hours of the morning asking to play.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t and this morning at 6:30 in the a.m., I was having none of it.  I rolled over and said “can you play by yourself for a few?” To which he promptly responded “no”.

He then proceeded to jump up on to the bed in an effort to better gain my attention and the following exchange took place…

Me:  Cooper, please try not to jump on mommy, kay?

Cooper:  Why?

Me:  Because…we’ve already talked about this.

Cooper:  Because there’s a baby in your tummy?

Me:  That’s right.

Cooper:  And we don’t want to hurt the baby?

Me:  That’s right.

Cooper:  Is it baby Jesus in there?

Me:  Uh….no.  For sure not.

Cooper:  Why?

2010

As I look toward the new year I am not filled with the need to make resolutions or ponder necessary change.  This alone is a change for me.   I usually make a resolution or two, thought D.Jones has always declined to join in the “fun”.  He’s always said that resolutions are frivolous, and, as we all know, are only to be broken within the following few weeks.  This isn’t the reason for my choice to sidestep the resolutions for myself this year, though.   My real reason is that I can’t think of anything that I feel compelled to change. 

Although 2009 brought challenges along with the good times, they were simply the challenges of life.  Parenting challenges, relationship challenges, healthy living challenges, and my usual feeling of restlessness.  These seem so minimal compared to the challenges that others face.  These are the challenges of the lucky, or like I often remind myself, “if this is the worst I’ve got, things are not bad, are they?”  So, when reflecting on our past year, I think there is not much I would change for 2010, though I do have many changes looming that I am looking forward to….

Changes on our horizon include, of course, our expanding family, and along with the arrival of our baby girl comes the opportunity to watch Cooper grow in to his new role of  big brother.  I will continue my studies, edging closer and closer to pursuing a career that I hope will have a positive impact on those with whom I get the chance to work.  Doug will likely face some opportunities in his careeer as well, which will bring excitement and new possibilities.  

Of course there will also be the usual family times and moments that create the memories over the years that we will cherish.  My hope is that we recognize those times for what they are and enjoy them in the moment, not worrying about whether or not we’re wearing the right thing or that dish we brought will be tasty, but instead focusing on the fact that these times are fleeting and when we open them later, like Christmas packages of memories, we won’t remember those insignificant details but will simply recall the time we got to spend with our family and friends. 

I shared some recent stories about Cooper with my mom yesterday and she asked me if I’m journaling for him.  It’s something I’ve tried to do a few different times, but wasn’t keeping up with it.  This was one of the reasons I began our family blog, so that I would have a history of events to look back on and to share with him some day when he’s interested.  There is something to looking back at someone’s written word, though, that strikes a deeper chord.  I may try to get some things down in pen and paper this year for both kids, but I’m not making any resolution to do so.  For now, this medium will have to suffice, because my fingers flying along on my keyboard seem to help my thoughts flow more than holding pen in hand does, so I hope for now, that’s good enough.

So, some day when they are wondering what was going on with their mom as she embarked on the beginning of the year 2010, they can hopefully hold this typewritten page in hand and read my thoughts to each of them…

Cooper

Cooper Jones, as you always introduce yourself to others.  This past year, your third year with me, I have been amazed at so many things.  Your ability to make me laugh with your quick wit and sense of humor is a constant.  Your expressions that go along with some of your funnier moments make me yearn to reach out and hug you to me at so many different times throughout the day.  As you grow and become more independent though, I try to resist doing it as often as I’d like, knowing that I’ll see your eyes roll in response or even have you say in an exasperated tone “what do you need, mommy!?”  It always makes me smile because rather than seeing it as the beginning of times when you will move away from my comfort, I see it as you becoming the bright, independent, self-sufficient boy that you are growing to become.  Don’t get me wrong, it does affect me because I remember those nights I rocked you in the rocking chair in your nursery, and I remember the times I just held you for hours on end and smelled the smell of you as I held you close, and I know those times cannot be recaptured, but there is just so much more to come that I have to look forward to with you that I try not to dwell on the fact that those moments flew past before I was ready for them to be gone. 

You will be turning four years old soon, and though that is still so ridiculously young, you often seem so beyond your years.  You always really have, though, and when I used to hear the expression “he’s an old soul” I never really “got it”, but since being introduced to you, I do.  You have such a depth already and I can’t wait to see where it takes you.

One thing I know for sure is that I’m looking forward to you becoming a big brother.  You have moved, over the past few weeks from telling us that your little sister will never be allowed in your room, and certainly not to touch your cars and trucks, to asking when she’s going to be here so you can rock her in her bassinet.  You have now decided that having a little sister is going to be a good thing and continually ask me when she’ll be big enough to have a slumber party with you in your room.  I can’t wait for those days to come, when I can watch you be the caring, sweet and thoughtful big brother that I know you will become.

2010 will be the last year for us before you start kindergarten, too, which just completely blows my mind because it seems such a short time ago that your daddy and I heard the doctor say “it’s a boy!” and before my very eyes I saw your daddy change in to a father.  A father who quickly ditched me in the O.R. at the hospital because he wasn’t letting any nurses take his boy away without him being there beside them with a watchful eye.

I look forward to what’s to come in 2010 with you, Coops, and I think 2010 will be just as exciting for us as the past few years have been.  I love you, baby~

Baby Jones 

To my daughter….  Boy that sounds good to me.   2010 will bring the year that I actually get to meet you and see your little face.  I can’t wait, already and we’ve got some time to go, little one, yet I already dream of days to come.  First, when I will hold you and rock you and stare at your sleeping face, trying to take in every single moment and store it for times that will come too quickly when it will seem like long ago.  You are lucky in that your big brother paved the “parenting” way for you and you will be arriving with parents who are more patient, more in-the-moment, and less anxious than they were when he was born.  For that, some day, you should thank him. 

You have a daddy who is terrified of being daddy to a little girl, mostly, I think, because it’s so important to him to be a great one.  In truth, he has mentioned for over a year now that he would love the chance to have a daughter, so when we got the news a couple of months ago that you were, in fact, a girl, we were both overjoyed, to say the least.

I will admit to already dreaming of the days that we spend together, you and I.  Times when you are older and we shop together, or go get a manicure.  Days that I spend laying on the floor coloring with you and watching your face light up when you open a new doll.  I remember my own excitement, and the new doll smell, and I can’t wait to witness you creating those same memories.

The news that you were joining our family, and then the news that we were going to have a daughter brought so many overwhelming emotions to me, as I thought there was no way that I could be so blessed, and yet here I am counting the days until I can look in to your eyes and know that it’s real.

I can’t wait to spend this first year with you, baby, and watch you achieve all of the milestones of a newborn.  Smiling at me, reaching for toys, rolling over, and enjoying that first meal of rice cereal.  2010 will bring a year of “firsts” for you and your daddy and I can’t wait to be a part of it.  We haven’t yet officially met, but I love you more than you can imagine….

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To everyone else, from the expanding Jones family….Happy New Year! 

May 2010 bring excitement, happiness, peace and joy to you are yours~