Solicitor Smackdown

For the past few months we have received a neverending parade of solicitation phone calls at home, and clearly we somehow got on some list because they all want D.Jones to invest in something.  Most of them are pretty rude, so I’ve taken to not answering the home phone at all unless I check the caller ID and see a family member or friend on the other end of the call.  On some days, I don’t even bother looking because I know the folks I actually want to talk to will end up calling my cell.

This morning, for some reason, I picked up without even looking.  My mistake.  “Doug there” some guy asks.  I offer a curt “no”.  He says “When will he be in?”  I am already moving to hang up but mumble a quick “I don’t know”.  Usually they just hang up, but some pretend to know him and say “I’ll catch him on his cell” or some other nonsense.  This guy caught me off guard by replying “Is this a home phone?”  I return my face fully to the receiver and tell him that it is, indeed our home phone.  I still try to end the call, though, plus get off of whatever annoying list we’re now on, so in an irritated voice I say“Yes, it is our home phone and if this is some other investment call, he’s not interested.  We get these calls  ALL. DAY. LONG.”  Then this happens:

Guy:  “I know you do because I got your name off of a list.  You guys have a long-term portfolio, right?  I mean, not to be like…whatever, but I’m the Vice President of this company and you probably have never dealt with a guy in New York before.  I’d like to help you out.  I’m kind of a big deal.”

Me:  “Right.  Okay.  Well, my husband is a trader and handles his own investments.  Oh, and he’s kind of a big deal too.”

Guy:  “Oh.  He’s a trader.  Oh.  Small world.”  Click.

Sweet!  I’ve now got my standard response for the next 28 guys who call here., which will probably happen tomorrow morning before 10 a.m.  I’m hoping it helps us get moved to the “Do not call the angry, crazy lady who is married to a trader list.”  One can only hope.  In the meantime, feel free to refer to D.Jones as D. “Kind of a Big Deal”  Jones.  He’d love that.



This morning I went to drop Cooper off at his 2nd day of “Kindergarten Here I Come” summer camp.  I noticed yesterday that there were quite a few kids crying and clinging to their mommy’s legs, as my boy moved his way through the crowd, threw his bags in to the appropriate cubby, grabbed a name tag off of the stack perched on top of the cubby wall, slapped it on his chest and said “Nametags.  Cool…” and then headed straight for a table full of Legos.  “Bye Cooper” I called as Sophie and I headed for the door.   Yep.  Exactly as I expected.  Not even a nod in our direction.  He was already intent on building something, which he probably later declared was a police car.  So, this morning when we got there, I wasn’t surprised to see a little boy out on the sidewalk, holding tightly to his mom and crying that he didn’t even want to go in to the building, much less go to  camp.   Cooper’s teacher Miss Andrea was heading out to try to talk him in.  My dropoff, on the other hand, was much a repeat of yesterday’s morning, except this time Cooper only whipped his lunch bag and his backpack in the general direction of the cubbies because he saw some other boys playing cars and trucks and had to get in on the action.  As Soph and I again turned to leave, I saw Miss Andrea, the mom and the little boy, slowly making their way toward the classroom.  Miss Andrea was saying “Really, I know the perfect boy for you to hang out with.  He’s great at making friends and he’ll be happy to show you around.”  Pause.  Then “Cooper!  Will you come out here for a sec?”  Oh, my heart soared.  “That’s my boy” I thought.  Pride swelled as I grabbed my cell to call D.Jones to tell him the good news.  “Our boy is the chosen teacher’s helper and he’s not even in kindergarten yet” I excitedly declared to D.Jones.

Well, 1 p.m. rolled around and I headed back to pick up my social little man.  I met him at the park and quickly tried to ask him about his new little friend from the morning.  I couldn’t wait to hear about how Cooper surely showed him around the park building, quickly befriended him and made him at ease, and then probably even helped him build a cool Lego squad car, right?  Well, the conversation actually went like this:

Me:  Coops, did you make a new friend this morning?

Cooper:  Who is Cooper?  I’m an officer.  Please call me officer.

Me:  Okay, I’ll play along in a minute but first I want to ask Cooper something.  Coops, did you help out that little boy this morning that Andrea introduced you to?

Cooper:  I’m not Cooper.

Me:  C’mon Coops.  Did you?  I want to hear all about it.

Cooper:  What boy?

Me:  The one who was crying.  Did you make friends with him and help him out today?

Cooper:  Nah.  All he wanted to do was cry so I went to play.

I totally should know better than to make up my perfect little scenarios.  They never quite fit with the real story of my 5 year old buddy…but I’m still proud as heck.

Journal This!

My days grow increasingly hectic.  Whose don’t, right?  My classes are piling up as I try to complete this master’s degree that I’ve decided to pursue, Cooper’s first days of kindergarten loom in the near future, I have projects that I’d like to get done around this joint before the snow flies, and whatever else.  My Facebook obsession over the past year, which has led me to neglect my poor blog here, is something that I just don’t have as much time for as I once did.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still there, I just don’t have the time that I did a few months back.  Not only that, when I began thinking about my blog here this a.m., I realized that my random FB status updates are not a replacement for actual writing, which is something that relaxes me, helps me manage my stress, and is something I need continual work on anyway.  So, here I am.  Back at it.  However, with less time to spend on it, I thought I’d try something new and actually use this forum as a sort of journal….daily if I can.  I expect that my entries will be shorter but more frequent.  At least that’s my goal.